/Listen up
Tipping Point
It’s often said that when a person learns how to unlock the art of actively listening, it can unlock so much within the interactions that person has- it’s a tipping point, which can lead to so much more than conversation; it can lead to connection. Below, we will explore some of the tools you can utilise to improve your listening skills. Please note there will be some homework, so have a pen and paper at the ready!
Noticing That Little Voice: Your “Inner Interruption”
Have you ever been in a conversation — nodding along, making the right noises, even maintaining eye contact — and then suddenly realise you have no idea what the other person just said? (Yep, you were physically present but mentally went on holiday.) Welcome to the world of inner interruptions.
When we’re practising active listening, one of the biggest hidden obstacles isn’t the ringtone, the noisy air-con, or even the other person’s awkward pause. It’s our own minds. According to research cited in the HR Magazine, our attention drifts to internal chatter (thoughts, feelings, self-reactions) around 45% of the time!
In short, your brain doing its own thing = you missing out on being fully present, and other people feel it.
When someone is truly listening, it activates reward circuits in the brain of the speaker, improving how they remember the moment, and strengthening the connection between you both.
So by allowing internal interruptions to dominate, you’re not just inhibiting your listening skills — you’re reducing connection, trust and mutual understanding. But there is good news! You can train your brain to brush these inner interruptions aside- grab your pen and paper and find a quiet space for a few minutes, we are going to do a little activity to show you how.
Activity #1
Just like physical fitness, staying mentally present takes practice. The exercises below are short, low-pressure ways to help you notice when your mind wanders and gently bring it back — no judgment, and no mental push-ups required!
The 60-Second Self-Check
When to try: Before a meeting or conversation.
How:
Sit quietly and set a 60-second timer.
Notice where your thoughts drift: lunch plans? yesterday’s meeting? your to-do list?
When your mind wanders (and it will), simply label it: “planning,” “remembering,” “worrying.”
Then, return to focusing on your breath or a neutral sound in the room.
Why it works:
Labelling internal chatter activates your prefrontal cortex — the part of your brain responsible for attention control. Regular practice helps you catch inner interruptions faster during conversations.
If you don’t have the time exercise before meetings or conversations you know are coming why not take the time to reflect and re-set…
The Reflect-and-Reset
When to try: After a conversation.
How:
Jot down one moment you felt distracted and one moment you felt truly present.
Reflect: what triggered the distraction? what helped you come back?
Celebrate the comeback, not the drift — that’s where growth happens.
Why it works:
Reflection consolidates awareness, turning each conversation into a micro-training session for better focus and connection.
NEXT STEPS
Over the next few days, put these practices into action and observe how they shape your conversations. Once you’ve had some real-world practice, schedule time for your first reflection — you’ll find it in the next section of this pathway.